sassy is relapsing.

[Brigitte]

Hi Alyssa,
I really like Sheena’s suggestion to contact Dr. Dodds. We all know that her consultations are cost effective, she will be able to help you along either way and help you to stay positive.
Best wishes,
Brigitte

[Vally]

Alyssa, can I also say I’d definitely contact Dr Dodds. It’s true lymphoma is the most common cancers. She would have all the latest information.

As the others have said, we are 100% with you in your decisions for Sassy. Don’t doubt that.

Love Vally
xxx

[Linda]

Hi Alyssa. I am so very sorry about all this with your precious Sassy. You are such an incredible, loving fur patent.

Yes, wonderful, sweet, loving lady, try to keep thinking – it’s about quality of life. I think you are doing exactly that. As you say, Sassy is happy now.

With Sadie’s onset, three relapses, and this last one being so bad, I knew in my heart, I could not let her suffer, but oh, I did not know what to do. At one point her PCV was 9%. She could hardly lift her head. It crushed me to see her this way. The first transfusion did nothing. She was just hanging on. Another transfusion, and this time she rallied. Amazing.

Yesterday Sadie’s PCV was 50%. But I know, the day of this last, horrible relapse in July 2015, two days prior, her PCV had been 48%. So, I know it an change with the blink of an eye. Now, I look at my precious girl every day and tell her how much I love her, how proud I am to be her fur mom and that I want this day, today, to be a great day.

I tell you all this, so you will know, you are my alone, even though where you are right now with Sassy, is a lonely place. Every fur parent here can associate with the angst you are going through right now. And all of us know it’s the pits.

You just keep on being the wonderful fur mom that you are. Sassy is so lucky to have you in her life. And you her. Such a beautiful gift, having each other.

Sending much love to you and Sassy, Linda

[Sheena]

Alyssa – have been thinking about you & Sassy worried as we’ve not heard from you – sending love & hugs – Sheena & the boys xxxxx

[alyssa]

Hello everyone, I’m sorry I haven’t posted. It’s been a very difficult time. 2 days ago my mother was rushed into emergency surgery for a burst appendix. She is not taking recovery well. I am now also taking care of her 100% and Sassy, whereas my mother was a HUGE help with Sassy. I’m barely getting any sleep; Sassy needs pills / outside nearly every 2 hours. So I am exhausted. And now very worried for my mom. Everything I read says she should be feeling better by now. I’m close to forcing her back to the hospital.

As for Sassy. We have, as a family, made the excruciating choice not to seek further treatment. We are going to make her comfortable in her last days, however many it may be. She is still doing well. Her lymph nodes have gotten slightly bigger and harder over the last 2 days. But she is eating, begging for food and still jumping in her spot on the couch. I know a lot of you ladies might seek further treatment, and I hope everyone understands it was probably the hardest choice in my life to say enough is enough. I want her to rest. She hates trips to the vet; they’ve been harder and harder for her. She’s just been through SO MUCH, so so much, and she’s pretty miserable on this prednisone dosage that is really starting to hurt her liver. And I can’t lower it this time. I’ll never be able to lower it again. It’s not fair and I can’t make her feel like this anymore. She has her moments of happiness but it’s coupled strongly with “I want to play but I’m so tired so never mind”, more and more, and it’s just breaking my heart. I feel I’m starting to see “that look” in her eyes more and more. The pred is wrecking her. and this time there will be no recovery from it, no lowering the dose, so I couldn’t justify allowing her to keep going through this – in addition to more frequent vet visits that usually ruin her whole day and night. It’s very different to talk about, as I said before, I’m having some really bad anger issues. I haven’t really felt this way before, and I just don’t know how to handle it.

[Sheena]

Hi Alyssa

You must be exhausted – I think anger is one way of dealing with so much bad news all at once. All of us would be struggling badly & I think you are doing a wonderful job of keeping everything together. I was really sorry to hear about your dear Mum – I hope she’s soon feeling much better – that is very nasty for her.

I completely support your decision about Sassy – you have thought deeply about it, I know – only YOU can decide anyway, so it doesn’t matter one bit what anyone else thinks.

I would not be hopeful if it were Worzel & he was still on pred & had side effects. I would not consider treating him with anything other than current meds in view of history & his age either. He also hates the car (always ill) & the vets, so it would be as miserable for him as it would for Sassy, as you so rightly say. It’s quality of life that matters & we have to think if we are doing this for us, or for them. If it’s for them, which it is in my world & yours, we must not ever put them through any distress unnecessarily – I really mean that, Alyssa. Plus I bet she’s had enough of being poked, prodded & examined lately.

Maybe go to the gym for 15 minutes & punch the living daylights out of a boxing punch bag. Or something like that. Maybe smash some object that you’ve always hated with a big hammer.You need an outlet. If that’s not your bag, maybe a relaxing massage – but how do you find the time?

You know we are always here for you – I wish I could give you a massive hug & help you with looking after everyone.

Love & cherish your Sassy Girl for as long as you can – she sounds very happy, hungry & playful – I hope this continues for as long as possible.

Love & many, many big hugs from me – and please take very good care of yourself too.
Sheena xxxx

[Brigitte]

Dear Alyssa,
I wish I could just come over and give you a hand, a hug and a shoulder to cry on. It is so hard to come to the conclusion that enough is enough. You know Sassy best and will always do what is best for her, I have no doubt about that. No matter how old they get, it is never long enough for us. I am sure if Sassy could give you an answer to the question if she had a good life, she would be puzzled why you would even loose one second thinking she did not. She would say she had and still has the most wonderful life with you and because of you. I know that you will treasure every moment you have left with her and spoil her as much as you can.
I am thinking of you and send my very best wishes so that the next few days and weeks will go as good as they can.
Love Brigitte

[Vally]

Alyssa, exactly as the others have said. Sassy is your girl and you know what’s best. No question. Don’t doubt in yourself.

I too wish I could hug you and squeeze Sassy.

I know your heart is broken and Sassy probably doesn’t understand why. She’s just living today. If only we could all do the same.

I’m so sorry to hear about your mum too. There’s just so much going on in your life right now.

I’m praying for you and all your family.

Lots of love, Vally
xxx